Far and Away: Reporting From the Brink of Change Read online

  Zambia, 1997 (Photograph by Luca Trovato)

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  Contents

  Epigraph

  Dispatches from Everywhere

  USSR The Winter Palettes

  USSR Three Days in August

  RUSSIA Young Russia’s Defiant Decadence

  CHINA Their Irony, Humor (and Art) Can Save China

  SOUTH AFRICA The Artists of South Africa: Separate, and Equal

  USA Vlady’s Conquests

  TAIWAN “Don’t Mess with Our Cultural Patrimony!”

  TAIWAN On Each Palette, a Choice of Political Colors

  TURKEY Sailing to Byzantium

  ZAMBIA Enchanting Zambia

  CAMBODIA Phaly Nuon’s Three Steps

  MONGOLIA The Open Spaces of Mongolia

  GREENLAND Inventing the Conversation

  SENEGAL Naked, Covered in Ram’s Blood, Drinking a Coke, and Feeling Pretty Good

  AFGHANISTAN An Awakening after the Taliban

  JAPAN Museum without Walls

  SOLOMON ISLANDS Song of Solomons

  RWANDA Children of Bad Memories

  LIBYA Circle of Fire: Letter from Libya

  CHINA All the Food in China

  CHINA Outward Opulence for Inner Peace: The Qianlong Garden of Retirement

  ANTARCTICA Adventures in Antarctica

  INDONESIA When Everyone Signs

  BRAZIL Rio, City of Hope

  GHANA In Bed with the President of Ghana?

  ROMANIA Gay, Jewish, Mentally Ill, and a Sponsor of Gypsies in Romania

  MYANMAR Myanmar’s Moment

  AUSTRALIA Lost at the Surface

  Acknowledgments

  About Andrew Solomon

  Notes

  Bibliography

  Index

  for Oliver, Lucy, Blaine, and George, who have given me a reason to stay home

  Think of the long trip home.

  Should we have stayed at home and thought of here?

  Where should we be today?

  . . .

  Continent, city, country, society:

  the choice is never wide and never free.

  And here, or there . . . No. Should we have stayed at home,

  wherever that may be?

  —Elizabeth Bishop, “Questions of Travel”

  Dispatches from Everywhere

  When I was about seven, my father told me about the Holocaust. We were in the yellow Buick on New York State route 9A, and I had been asking him whether Pleasantville was actually pleasant. I cannot remember why the Nazis came up a mile or two later, but I do remember that he thought I already knew about the Final Solution, and so didn’t have any rehearsed way to present the camps. He said that this had happened to people because they were Jewish. I knew that we were Jewish, and I gathered that if we’d been there at the time, it would have happened to us, too. I insisted that my father explain it at least four times, because I kept thinking I must be missing some piece of the story that would make it make sense. He finally told me, with an emphasis that nearly ended the conversation, that it was “pure evil.” But I had one more question: “Why didn’t those Jews just leave when things got bad?”

  “They had nowhere to go,” he said.

  At that instant, I decided that I would always have somewhere to go. I would not be helpless, dependent, or credulous; I would never suppose that just because things had always been fine, they would continue to be fine. My notion of absolute safety at home crumbled then and there. I would leave before the walls closed around the ghetto, before the train tracks were completed, before the borders were sealed. If genocide ever threatened midtown Manhattan, I would be all set to gather up my passport and head for some place where they’d be glad to have me. My father had said that some Jews were helped by non-Jewish friends, and I concluded that I would always have friends who were different from me, the kind who could take me in or get me out. That first talk with my father was mostly about horror, of course, but it was also in this regard a conversation about love, and over time, I came to understand that you could save yourself by broad affections. People had died because their paradigms were too local. I was not going to have that problem.

  A few months later, when I was at a shoe store with my mother, the salesman commented that I had flat feet and ventured that I would have back problems in later life (true, alas), but also that I might be disqualified from the draft. The Vietnam War was dominating the headlines, and I had taken on board the idea that when I finished high school, I’d have to go fight. I wasn’t good even at scuffles in the sandbox, and the idea of being dropped into a jungle with a gun petrified me. My mother considered the Vietnam War a waste of young lives. World War II, on the other hand, had been worth fighting, and every good American boy had done his part, flat feet or otherwise. I wanted to understand the comparative standard whereby some wars were so righteous that my own mother thought they warranted my facing death, while others were somehow none of our business. Wars didn’t happen in America, but America could send you off to war anyplace else in the world, rightly or wrongly. Flat feet or not, I wanted to know those places, so I could make my own decisions about them.

  I was afraid of the world. Even if I was spared the draft and fascism failed to establish a foothold in the Nixon years, a nuclear attack was always possible. I had nightmares about the Soviets detonating a bomb in Manhattan. Although not yet acquainted with the legend of the Wandering Jew, I made constant escape plans and imagined a life going from port to port. I thought I might be kidnapped; when my parents were being particularly annoying, I imagined I had already been kidnapped, taken away from nicer people in some more benign country to be consigned to this nest of American madness. I was precociously laying the groundwork for an anxiety disorder in early adulthood.

  Running in counterpoint to my reckonings with destruction was my growing affection for England, a place I had never visited. My Anglophilia set in about the time my father started reading me Winnie-the-Pooh when I was two. Later, it was Alice in Wonderland, then The Five Children and It, then The Chronicles of Narnia. For me, the magic in these stories had to do as much with England as with the authors’ flights of fancy. I developed a strong taste for marmalade and for the longer sweep of history. In response to my various self-indulgences, my parents’ usual reprimand was to remind me that I was not the Prince of Wales. I conceived the vague idea that if I could only get to the UK, I would receive entitlements (someone to pick up my toys, the most expensive item on the menu) that I associated more with location than with an accident of birth. Like all fantasies of escape, this one pertained not only to the destination, but also to what was left behind. I was a pre-gay kid who had not yet reckoned with the nature of my difference and therefore didn’t have a vocabulary with which to parse it. I felt foreign even at home; though I couldn’t yet have formulated the idea, I understood that going where I would actually be foreign might distract people from the more intimate nature of my otherness.

  My incipient Anglophilia was nourished by a childhood babysitter. I was a colicky infant, so my mother had sought a helper who could give her a bit of a break one day a week. She advertised the position and set up interviews with likely prospects. One day the bell rang when no one was expected. My mother was surprised to find at the door a middle-aged Scottish woman as wide as
she was tall, who announced, “I’m the nanny. I’ve come to take care of the baby.” My mother, presuming she had forgotten an appointment, led Bebe back to my room, where I grew calm in seconds and ate my best meal yet. Bebe was hired on the spot; only later did it materialize that she had gotten off the elevator on the wrong floor and was supposed to be going to the family in 14E rather than to us in 11E. By then, it was too late. For the next decade, Bebe came on Thursdays and made us sherry trifle and told us stories about growing up on the Isle of Mull. As a little girl she had had a purse with three patches on it that read Paris, London, and New York and had told her grandmother that someday she would visit all those places. Her grandmother had laughed—but Bebe did visit them all; indeed, she lived in them all.

  Like the characters in my beloved British books, Bebe was eccentric and magical—childlike herself, and incapable of exasperation, disappointment, or anger. She taught me how to roll my r’s. Her sharpest reprimand was the occasional “Gently, Bentley!” when my brother or I grew raucous. I imagined that everyone in Britain would be similarly delighted by me almost all the time, and that over there, children were served second helpings of dessert at every meal, even if they hadn’t finished their vegetables or done their homework.

  I was likewise moved by a story of another England, one that reassured me as I thought of those who had perished because they had nowhere to go. Our next-door neighbors, Erika Urbach and her mother, Mrs. Offenbacher, were Czech Jews who had secured English entry visas as the Nazis closed in. But their transit visas for crossing Europe did not materialize until after their English papers had expired. They nonetheless boarded the train in Prague. In the Netherlands, an officer tried to eject them, arguing that they would not be admitted in England, but Mrs. Offenbacher insisted that they could not be removed because their transit visas were valid. When their ferry landed in Dover, they disembarked and Mrs. Offenbacher stood for a full hour watching people proceed through border control, trying to decide which official seemed kindest. Finally, Mrs. Offenbacher (who was a beautiful woman, as Erika was a beautiful child) carefully selected a queue. The customs officer noted, “Your entry permit for the United Kingdom has expired.” Mrs. Offenbacher calmly replied, “Yes. But if you send us back, we will be killed.” There was a long pause while they looked each other in the eye, and then he stamped both passports and said, “Welcome to England.”

  My preoccupation with discovering a foreign refuge was matched by an intense curiosity about the same world I found so threatening. Although England lay at the forefront of my imaginings, I also wanted to know what Chinese people ate for breakfast, how Africans styled their hair, why people played so much polo in Argentina. I read voraciously, immersing myself in Indian fairy tales, Russian folk stories, and Tales of a Korean Grandmother. My mother brought home a Kleenex box illustrated with people in their native costumes. Believing that everyone in Holland clunked around in wooden shoes and all Peruvians wore jaunty bowler hats, I imagined meeting them all and kept the box after the tissues had been used up. I wanted to visit every country in the world at least once—as though having set foot in China or India met the same checklist parameters as touching down in Gambia or Monaco or connecting through the Bahamas.

  Fortunately for me, my mother loved travel. She first went to Europe immediately after the Second World War, when she was twenty-two, when visiting the ravaged continent was considered enough of a novelty that her hometown paper chronicled her departure. Our first significant family trip abroad—to England, France, and Switzerland—came when I was eleven, and in the years that followed, we often tagged along on my father’s European business trips. He was never particularly interested in new places, but tourism brought out the best in my mother. Before we went anyplace, she would teach us about it. We’d read relevant books, learn local history, find out about the food we were going to eat and the sights we would see. My mother was a scheduler; she would have worked out an itinerary for each day, down to when we’d get up and when we’d return to the hotel. Such precision may sound alarming, but it was actually relaxing, because it meant that we were surprised only by the places themselves. We never rushed. My mother said you should always travel as if you would return; if you thought you were making your sole visit anywhere, you would try to see everything and therefore wouldn’t really see anything. “Always leave something for next time, something to tempt you back,” she said.

  * * *

  Not until high school, though, did I begin to connect these geographical adventures to a sweeping narrative. Mr. Donadio, my ninth-grade history teacher, was fond of the orotund phrase: he described various important figures (Ramses II, Pontius Pilate, Catherine the Great, Napoléon, Thomas Jefferson) as standing at “the crossroads of history.” I envisioned them as brave men and women who disregarded traffic lights, turning sharply left or right where everyone else had planned on proceeding straight ahead. I came to recognize that while such men and women had made choices that reshaped the world, they were, equally, making those choices because of their circumstances. Another teacher insisted that it was impossible to determine whether such leaders were consciously making history or merely fulfilling its demands. I remember thinking in ninth grade that I would like to behold the crossroads of history, with some grandiose adolescent hope that if I could describe what happened at the intersection, I might even affect its course.

  In 1980, during my junior year of high school, our glee club was scheduled to perform in the USSR, but the Soviets had invaded Afghanistan a few months earlier, so we were rerouted to Romania and Bulgaria. (My debut solo performance—which was very nearly my swan song, given my sonorous but strident baritone—consisted of my singing the Spanish folk song “Ríu Ríu Chíu” in a nursing home outside Pleven, Bulgaria’s seventh most populous city.) I had never even heard of anyone’s going to those countries. Before we left the United States, several teachers and other wise adults advised me that whereas Bulgaria was a Soviet puppet state and a terrible place, Romania had a brave, independent leader, Nicolae Ceauşescu, who refused to obey orders from Moscow. Once we arrived in Bulgaria, however, we all experienced unaffected warmth. Even when our lead soprano, Louise Elton, and I were briefly carried off by a troupe of Gypsies, the mood remained cheerful. In Romania, by contrast, we saw scenes of repression every day that stood in stark contrast to our hosts’ attempts to persuade us that their country was free and liberal. A patient tried to wave at us from a hospital window, only to be pulled back fiercely by an army-uniformed attendant who immediately lowered the blinds. Anxious-seeming Romanians approached on the streets and asked us to smuggle out letters for them, but were afraid to engage in conversation. Glowering military personnel could be seen at every corner. We were forbidden to explore in Bucharest on grounds that “here in Romania, we have no funny nightlife,” a remark we took great delight in repeating throughout the rest of the trip.

  After we returned, I reported that Bulgaria was charming and Romania, a creepy police state. Everyone who knew better told me how wrong I was. When the regimes later changed, it turned out that the Ceauşescus were not so admirable—that Romania’s was quite possibly the most repressive regime in Eastern Europe. That was a good lesson about intuition: places that seem lovely at first glance may actually be sinister, but places that feel sinister seldom turn out to be lovely.

  Nearly three decades later, I interviewed Saif al-Islam Qaddafi, son of Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi. He was in some ways persuasive: beautifully dressed in a Savile Row suit, eloquent in English, socially well connected, and gracious in his grand fashion. He was also ominously self-absorbed and a patent liar; his buoyant narrative of Libyan life was so much at odds with what I saw and heard firsthand that it seemed almost like performance art. A few years after my visit, I was invited to a breakfast for Saif Qaddafi organized by a prestigious foreign-policy association. After his twenty-minute oration, each of us was invited to ask a question. I was astonished by the deferential posture of the interlocutor
s, many of them seasoned diplomats. When my turn came, I said, “All of what you have promised will happen is the same as what you were promising five years ago, and none of it has so far come to pass. On what basis are we to presume that those promises now have merit?” I was admonished afterward for having been rude to a “gifted statesman” who represented “our best hopes for North Africa.” Saif Qaddafi is now imprisoned and wanted for prosecution by the International Criminal Court for crimes against humanity after his disastrous behavior in the Libyan revolution, during which he announced that “rivers of blood” would flow if the populist uprising continued. A witness can be of more value than a policy analyst. An amateur witness, free of conceptual bias, sometimes sees the plainest truth. One should never be blinded by tailoring.

  * * *

  The summer after I finished college, I visited my friend Pamela Crimmins, who had landed a job as personal photographer to the American ambassador in Morocco. At the time Morocco had no cell phones and few landlines, so we had arranged beforehand that Pamela would meet me at the airport when I arrived in Rabat, the capital. It was the first time I’d ventured alone to a place so remote from my life experience. I landed at night, found no one waiting to greet me, and panicked. A man with a decrepit car offered to drive me to Pamela’s apartment building, where I started up the staircase, calling “Pamela!” at every floor, until I finally heard her sleepy voice say, “Andrew?” In hindsight, the events of that evening were trivial, but I remember my mounting terror at being in a foreign place and not knowing how to take care of myself. I was scared as much by my ingenuousness as by any real sense of threat.

  I woke the next morning excited about our plans to tour the country, only to learn that Pamela had been given an urgent assignment. She mentioned that Ahmed El Houmaidi, a driver at the embassy, wanted to visit his aunt in Marrakech and she suggested that I go with him; we set off by bus the next day. Ahmed’s aunt lived on the outskirts of town in a cinder-block house built around a courtyard with a pomegranate tree. She treated a foreigner’s arrival as a great occasion and vacated her room to accommodate me.